"We must stop procrastinating and waiting for the perfect time. It doesn’t exist. Re-discover your mission and hoist the sails." Barry Nicolaou
Master Secret: Waiting for the perfect conditions to begin.
Strategy: Realising timing is irrelevant. Just begin.
EXCUSES: An excuse can be defined as a valid or invalid reason for failure or inaction. Excuses are also the most common reason why we’re not driving the car we want, buying the clothes we want, doing what we want to do, or even living in the area we want to live. We find a way to make mediocre-living okay in our minds. We also hear it all the time within the court system from people who accept “out of court settlements". An “out of court settlement” is, in fact, a result we chose to "settle for" because we don’t believe we would achieve the result we actually want in court.
Most of us are choosing to accept "in-life" settlements in preference to going for what is passionately ours to begin with. We’re not stretching, we’re not reaching and we’re certainly not achieving the life we want to live for ourselves. Instead, we see those who seemingly “have it all”, then make excuses in our minds to justify how they did it. Excuses aren't going to get you there, but making a move of any kind begins momentum. Momentum, and keeping it, is the driving force behind any success we see.
The root of all excuses is in absolute synergy with a lack of personal satisfaction. For example, the most common theme for a long life is keeping our health. Messages from doctors, health nutritionists, life partners and athletes are always driving the health message any way they can. The truth of the matter is, we can’t accomplish our dreams without good health. When you look good, you feel good. Before anyone else can believe in you and your mission, you have to believe in yourself. In other words, is there anything you want to change about yourself?
If you lost weight, would that give you greater confidence?
If you were more educated, do you feel people would take you more seriously?
If you stopped watching two hours of TV every night, would you have more time?
We've now looked at a few good reasons for personal dissatisfaction that have been holding you back from beginning the race towards your vision. Once these reasons have been identified, we must be brave enough to understand the reasons behind them. Why do we over-eat? Why do we default into watching TV as soon as we return home from work? The reason causing the excuse is just as important, because we need to ensure we have that reason under control. For example, why do we default into watching two hours of mindless television after returning home from work every day? Is it because our job makes us so unhappy that we need time to escape? I would say to you, find another coping mechanism, such as finding another job that elevates your mind-set whilst you pursue your vision.
So, how do we do away with excuses and get on track to achieving anything in life?
First, recognise that it’s going to take time—a whole lot of precious time that we feel we don’t have. To hasten the process, we must find personal mentors and coaches during our journey to encourage us towards achieving our long-term goals. These mentors should be there to shift paradigms and encourage long-term thinking. A personal trainer can get you to a great body, but you must keep it when the trainer is not around, which requires changes to long-term thinking. Any type of mentoring or coaching incorporates the concept of building new mental tools for reaching our goals, but good ones will also tell us how to keep elevated.
Second, realise that there’s no right time to begin. Now is as good a time as any, because if you’re enthused about changing your life, you know that you can achieve anything you put your mind to doing. Timing is irrelevant in the world of dream-chasing, because you’re not waiting for the world to change. Instead, you're changing the world.
Think back to the time you were a child of perhaps six or seven-years-old. What did you want to do with your life? Do yourself a favour and write this down. After you write it down, fold the paper neatly and put it into your wallet or purse and look at it often. This was a time when failure wasn’t even in your vocabulary. That’s your happy place and forms a large part of your vision process. Now, remember this is not an exercise in being sensible or practical. This is an exercise in imagination and creativity. If you work diligently, and it’s still what you want to do, it most certainly can become your reality in the not too distant future. Just begin.
For so long, I was very much like everyone else I knew: I only wanted to start something when all the conditions lined-up in my favour. That is, I wanted to be ready to jump when the right circumstances said I could, and not before. The problem with dream-chasing though is that it has its own timing. We must take it as a given that when we can visualise it, it's time to materialise it.
Following on from our example in Master Secret 3, I had a member of the audience publicly challenge me about this Master Secret. Her circumstances were quite tragic. I don’t believe there was a dry eye in the room. Her husband left her three months ago, leaving her with a huge mortgage, three kids and a mountain of debt. She had just taken on her third job that day and proceeded to tell me of her dream that she never got around to. As the details of her story unfolded, it was revealed her dream was to be a world class violinist. According to this audience member, whom we’ll call Rosie, she plainly didn't have the funds to buy her violin, and nor did she have the time to start practicing. One thing she did know was that it was over.
Despite her challenging circumstances, this was also an opportunity for Rosie to vent and share her story publicly. The question for Rosie was more about time than ability. I asked her what time she got up in the morning and she confirmed 6.00am. With tact and bated breath, I stated she was now getting up at 5.00am. Looking at me aghast, and apparently shocked at even considering prying herself out of bed at that time, we started to evaluate the positives that an additional hour every day would do for her new passion. We managed to add an additional 45 days (6.5 weeks) per year to Rosie's calendar. While the rest of us are planning around a 52-week calendar, Rosie is looking at a 58-week calendar, with the ability to pursue her violin playing. She became a time-thief overnight and started to regain control over her dreams.
Rosie’s example is an brilliant one, because this type of time thieving has the power to make dreams come true, whilst keeping the wheels of life continually moving. As human beings, we’re all about the "how?" in regards to achieving our dreams. Time is usually the excuse we give as to why we can’t do it. But, if we really want something, we’ll find a way, and if we don’t, we’ll generally find a 'valid' excuse. Once we get past the time conversation, the next question is: "How do we get from point A to point B, without destroying ourselves?" In Rosie’s example, the way we get from Point A (not picking up a Violin) to Point B (being a Violinist) is an hour per day (gradually). This is the way it will be for all of us.
When we were children, we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. Even if we had an idea of how to correctly respond, the adults started to talk about "how" this could become reality for us. As children, we were creators, the dream manufacturers and imagination weavers. We hardly looked towards the "how"; we just knew what we wanted, the dream and the end result. In contrast, as adults, we solely look to the how (the mechanics) behind the situation, and we justify inaction because the blueprint seems incomplete to us. So, we stop imagining, we stop creating, and instead, we become a part of society's machine. Successful dream realisation is the combination of knowledge and working together with imagination (what can be).
A word on our friend Providence...
Those who know me personally understand I have an innate love and passion for Spirituality, and I am a firm believer that it plays a pivotal role in personal fulfillment. Contrary to the prosaic realities of modern life, I believe life is much more than paying bills until we die. Instead, I see the serendipities in life, which can often be seen as guide posts, taking us to where we need to grow. The key to life is not "growth until we feel like it", "it's growth until the end". And, if that means learning the same lesson twenty times until we get it, then that’s what it takes.
Providence teaches us that even though we might have all our ducks lined-up and make no mistakes, we can still lose. Some of us want to know the exact reasons for the loss and some put it down to timing or being ill-prepared. The truth about dream realisation is we’re not exactly going to know when it's going to happen for us. The exact date of the morning we wake up, stretch, have a coffee and sit in the sunshine knowing we’ve realised our dreams, has not yet been set. We have a large part to play in this process and it can be a long and drawn-out journey if we’re not eager to learn the lessons we need to learn. So, we either give-up on our dreams or we continue on and trust that if we keep moving in the right direction, eventually we’ll get there.
Most believe that working hard allows Providence to enter and live up to its end of our dream bargain, but it seldom turns up when we’re expecting it. It usually manifests from strange, almost peculiar angles, at a time when we’re usually too busy with other projects to notice what just happened. Since we have no influence or bearing on how, when or what shape Providence will take, our obligation to manifest our dreams is to keep moving towards the direction of our dreams, consistently, and with unrelenting passion. Our dreams must be part of us, in our everyday thought processes. We’re figuring out new ways to promote for maximum exposure and minimal effort. For those of us who truly understand that dreams are possibilities, setting ourselves up for Providence to come knocking when Providence is ready, is part of everyday thinking.
Providence is nature’s way of giving us what we want when we’re ready. The ocean surfer is another analogy. At every coast in the world, the ocean will decide which waves to offer the surfer, but the surfer can decide which waves to invest in. The four elements that need to be present to ride the wave are: position, patience, talent and experience; if we take any of those out of the equation, then we’re just paddling. It's uncanny that these four areas are also the building blocks for achieving anything we want in life.
Dream realisation and Providence go hand-in-hand. We need to position our mental and physical selves for the upcoming wave, knowing it's about to arrive, and not if it arrives. Remember, it's better to be prepared and have no opportunity than to have an opportunity and not be prepared. When the wave we’re searching for finally arrives and pays off, we have a better idea of what future big-break waves might look like, given the fact we’ve spotted them before; this is the experience. Having the patience in knowing what to look for next and working towards it until it arrives is the next step.
All four elements are important, but the critical element would be in positioning your surfboard for success. Once we know how to mentally position our board for consistency, Providence tends to smile on our affairs. And if Providence takes its sweet time, it doesn’t matter; we’ve shifted into being aligned with our own personal truth and vision anyway. We’re enjoying the ocean.
Remember to never give-up or settle with regards to living your purpose and vision. If it was given to you, it’s your responsibility to make it happen.
A Lesson on Time.
It's incredible to note that we're trading in a massive 86,400 seconds for every day we're alive. We trade these precious seconds involuntarily, without our expressed or implied permission. The train keeps moving forward and no-one knows where the next station will be or who'll be asked to disembark. Unfortunately, some of us will be disembarking with their dreams, passions, visions and talents still within them, unexposed to the people on the train and other trains who are sharing the same journey with us. Most will look back and finally realise we may have had the time to pursue what we loved, but opted for other seemingly pressing pursuits.
The concept of time and the way we spend time would have to be one of the most pressing issues when faced with what we believe we can and can't do with it. Discussing the reality of time management as it applies to our professional lives and personal pursuits is highly debated among many.
Some realise early that the value of time is well and truly over and above the importance of money. Some discover this truth later in life when they're short of time and plentiful of the latter. When we start to consciously realise that time is indeed limited and money is the opposite, it becomes easier to grasp that it is necessary to pursue what we love—our passions. Similarly to good health, time is a precious enabler that makes our personal and professional pursuits possible. The fact about time though is that it shrinks every day without the opportunity of a do-over. Because time expands for us at only one day at a time, most people believe they have plenty of time to achieve everything they want. This would be true if we knew exactly how much time we had left; then, we could budget our time, just as we budget our finances. How can we involuntarily withdraw time, when we don't know how much we have left?
A lesson in growth: The Chinese Bamboo Tree—The Chinese Bamboo tree is a wonderful example of how good things take time. If you or I were to plant a Bamboo seed in fertile soil, the incubation process is sure to be a lengthy one. Once planted, the Bamboo seed will take five years before it breaks the soil surface. Yes—five years. While other trees in their third and fourth year are showing significant signs of growth, the Bamboo seed is still yet to be seen. Now, in its fifth year, once it breaks the soil level, it can grow 30 feet tall within a matter of only six weeks. So, it makes you wonder what it is doing under the soil for five years.
A beautiful thing can happen when we relentlessly pursue a belief over a sustained period of time. We notice that with enough persistence, resilience and time, it can very well lead to a reality we want for ourselves, so that we can impact the world in our own unique way.
If you've undertaken any research on diamonds, you may already know just how incredible this time and pressure-producing environment is. Researchers have uncovered the regions on Earth that are within between 150 and 200 kilometres proximity to the Earth's crust, in temperatures of over 1000 degrees Celsius, and they have elucidated the extensive length of time and pressure needed for the "Diamond Stability Zone" to be present for the formation of diamonds to occur.
Some have humorously suggested that diamonds are just pieces of coal that stuck to their job. It's a humorous comment, but its accurate. What can we learn from this process and what can this teach us about the constant application of pressure and time? I believe we can learn a great deal. The correlation between pursuing our larger visions and the formation of diamonds is truly uncanny. We can choose how we spend our time, whether we waste it, value it, pursue an ideal with it, or lose it. The choice is ours.
Our time has been given to us to do what we want with. When we realise the importance of time and 'all good things take time', most of us have a true epiphany. That is, when we realise that time is the most precious commodity and resource we have available to inspire change in ourselves and in the world, it becomes a true wake-up moment. It is a most important life lesson that everything has its season, and the way we choose to impact our world when our season is in bloom (our life), is the single, most sacred duty we have.
So what should we focus on with our time?
Begin today to find the piece within you that's tenacious and won't give-up on following your unique talents and skills to pursue what you love. Why? Because this is the reason you've been given your time: to experience it through your own unique eyes, to learn from it, and to grow and change because of it. We must find the emotional tenacity where we know we'll either die trying or go the distance. Your reason to utilise your time best will give you the emotional resilience to continue on with urgency, purpose and a love for what you do.
We can always place priorities in front of our dreams and our ego will validate what we're thinking and support how we feel. We must trust and believe that making a decision to follow or pursue a passion can be the most beneficial undertaking we ever make. It will teach us lessons and it will give us heartache, but you will never be so satisfied as you are when you are chasing the real you.